Shout

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 My dad is a strong man. 

He’s a baker by day, and a dad by night. 

It’s just me and him. It’s been just the two of us, for a very long time now. And I’m happy, and I’m warm, and the bread he brings home is crusty and soft. 

Sometimes I think of my dad like a tree. He’s got a thick, sturdy tree trunk and big, strong arms. He’s a little clumsy, but the bread he makes has these beautiful patterns. When I sit in his lap, I imagine his beard to be the leaves, brushing softly against my face. 

My dad is a strong man. 

He fixes the leaks around our house. Sometimes, when it’s very very loud outside, our house moves a lot. Dad will pick me up, and we sit in the bathtub together. The bathtub is cold, but dad is warm. 

And then, when everything stops shaking, dad will pick it all back up. The fridge, the washing machine, the bookshelf, anything that has fallen. And then he will pick things up for our neighbours too. He carries me, and we go on a visit to see everybody else. 

My dad is a strong man. 

He’s very strong, but he’s also very smart! Every night, I read to him. School stopped a long time ago, but I know listening to me read makes dad happy. When I say a word wrong, he writes down a similar word. Sometimes, it takes me a long time to say the words right. Sometimes, it’s really hard. Sometimes, I want to give up. But then I see the wire on dad’s throat, and I try again.

 _____________________ 

Every night, me and my dad wash together. Dad boils some water and mixes it in a bucket. When it’s nice and warm, he rubs me down. We stand together in the bathtub. The towel is a bit ticklish, but it is nice to feel clean. Especially when the house has been moving, sometimes I get very dusty. And then I help dad rub down too. But dad needs to sit down, because he is very tall, but I am very little. I like to trace the raised skin running on his back. Bumpy silver skin, all over his body. Like a tree. But the most of it is on his back. It looks very pretty. I hope I will look like that when I grow older. 

When I’m helping dad, I need to be careful. Because there is spiky wire around his neck. And it hurts him when I touch it. But dad never takes it off. 

All of dad’s friends also have spiky wire. When I was a bit littler, no one had spiky wire. And my dad talked all the time. But I don’t remember what he sounded like. I don’t know what anyone sounds like. Only me. 

When we leave the house, dad tapes my mouth. Some of the other kids have string, sewing their lips together. Some are like me, with tape. Some don’t have mouths anymore. Nobody speaks. 

It hurts a bit, when dad takes off the tape. But I can’t leave the house if I don’t wear it. 

 _____________________ 

My dad is a strong man. 

But we are standing outside the house today. We went on a little walk before, and heard some explosions! That’s what the loud sounds are. But today, the house that went boom! was ours. I wonder if dad will fix this. I am getting a little tired, standing outside. He picks me up, and his beard tickles my face. 

My dad is a strong man. 

But suddenly, there’s many many people around us and they’re talking very loudly and I don’t understand. And I’m holding onto dad. And dad is looking at me and he’s looking at me and he’s looking at me. And I hear a strange sound coming from him, and the wire on his neck is red, and then he opens his mouth and an ugly, guttural noise comes out of within him but I’m not sure if I hear it or if I read it,

“WAIT.” 

And the wire snaps shut. 

 _____________________ 

My dad was a strong man. 

But the wires on his neck were stronger. There are no wires on my neck. No one speaks. No one knows how to. No one reads. No one knows how to.

We all do exactly as we are told.

My son is soft and sweet in my arms. I speak to him, quietly, quietly. Every night. I fill his mind with words, the way my dad wrote into mine. 

Those who seek to silence us, have done so. But I know, my whispers are gentle. My son will be kind. He will be quiet. 

No. He will be silent. 

And then, when the time is right. 

Together, we have waited.

Together, we will open our mouths. 

Together, we will shout.